Thursday, February 2, 2012

Enemy: thy name is static

For those of you who have never lived in a place with a proper winter, you will have no idea what I am talking about. I apologize in advance. Here in Beijing, we have been enjoying an especially cold and dark winter, full of what has become my greatest nemesis STATIC! Static cling is plaguing my like no other. I walk around, sounding like there are mini-firecrackers going off around me. I spark with everything I touch, much to PB's dismay. My hair is larger than most Texan debutante's- mind you, it's not in a sexy full of body kind of way; but in an Albert Einstein kind of way- of course!. The real issue: static cling on mah pants. Static cling takes my nice, neat work trousers and turns them into clingy crazy-pants, closer to my thighs then a pair of jeggings. There is no lovely, crisp, clean line of my pants anymore. Nope, thanks to my mate static cling my pants are on my ass like a horny fifteen year old (not that I would know what that looks like...) So I do a lot of awkward tugging and shifting and use a lot of lotion, hoping to beat the monster. However, if you have any suggestions to help me thrash my arch rival static, I'm all ears. We don't have bounce sheets here, nor are we able to buy the lovely product "static guard" so if you've got other options, tell me about them!

On a funny note, I've recently changed my mobile texting notification sound because PB and I had the same sound and it was mega confusing and annoying to not know who had just gotten a text. (let's be honest, it was almost always my mobile, I'm cooler than him, fact of life) The new sound that I've chosen is quite unique. We talked about the sound and how to describe it. We've decided it is the same noise that they use in killer movies when the killer first walks in the room and everyone is hiding. Very suspensful and full of doom. As it happens, that same noise frightens PB. I got quite a few texts in a row from a mate and PB was super jumpy. Unknown bonus to my new text noise! Score one for me! My new goal is to be around him whenever I get a text. I may text myself just to see PB's reaction... mwaahahaha!

This is what PB pictures every time I get a text. I know it's wrong for me to find humor in his pain, but I can't help myself!

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